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Individual differences in temperament or behavioral styles are important in family life in several ways because they affect the nature of the interactions among family members. Some children adapt quickly and easily to family daily routines and get along well with their siblings. Others, especially highly active, intense and “prickly” children have a more difficult time adjusting to everyday demands, and their interactions with parents and siblings may lead to friction and stress. Consider how ...

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07/09 15:00:13 (Tiếng Anh - Lớp 12)
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Individual differences in temperament or behavioral styles are important in family life in several ways because they affect the nature of the interactions among family members. Some children adapt quickly and easily to family daily routines and get along well with their siblings. Others, especially highly active, intense and “prickly” children have a more difficult time adjusting to everyday demands, and their interactions with parents and siblings may lead to friction and stress. Consider how an active, impulsive child can bother an older sibling who is trying to complete a school project, or how a distractible child who is low in persistence can frustrate parents’ efforts to get him to complete his homework or to finish a household chore.

It is important to note that parents, like children, also differ in temperament. Some are quick reacting and intense, while others are quiet and slow to respond; some are flexible and adaptable, and others are not. The “mix” between parents’ and children’s temperaments has a strong effect on family life, sometimes leading to positive interactions, sometimes to frustrations, and sometimes even to conflicts.

It is interesting to note that parents also differ in the expectations they have about their children’s behavior, and how they view and tolerate differences in temperaments. For example, certain constellations of temperament such as high activity, intensity, and persistence may be tolerated and valued in boys, but not in girls. Conversely, shyness and sensitivity may be viewed as acceptable in girls, but not in boys.

This leads to the notion of “goodness of fit”, which can be a useful framework for helping parents figure out how temperament affects relationships in the family. “Goodness of fit” refers to the match or mismatch between a child and other family members. For example, a high-activity, intense child may upset and irritate a quiet, slow-paced, reflective parent. An active, quick-responding parent may be impatient with a slow-to-warm-up child, whom the parent may see as lazy or indifferent. Sparks may fly when both parent and child are intense and quick responding.

Life in a family is not the same for all children, and temperament is one of the ingredients in the “fit” between child and family. Don’t assume family friction is a result of your child having LD or ADHD. It could be because of your child’s temperament — and yours!

(source: https://www.greatschools.org)

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