The Vietnamese family has built up long and good traditions for thousands of years, with the standards of family style and spirituality, with the motto of manners: respect for the upper and lower, especially the prominence and harmony. pros. However, between generations in the family, there are still cognitive, lifestyle and psychological gaps, creating inevitable conflicts, especially adolescents with parents. It is a pressing issue that needs to be solved in order to create harmony and peace in a family. In the limited framework of an article, we only mention common conflicts and propose solutions that can overcome the above conflicts. At puberty, children begin to notice and pay attention. Their physique and appearance in terms of height, weight, skin tone ... Children can stand in front of the mirror for hours to look at themselves with both excitement and anxiety about their plans for hair styling. , buying clothes, posing, walking ... to prove that I am mature, a model, modern to attract attention to everyone, especially the opposite sex. Appearance is an important factor in adolescents, so children often have “unwillingness to accept” parent requests for hairstyles, clothes shopping, the way of makeup… like parents used to when they were young. Meanwhile, parents still keep old concepts, so sometimes they cannot keep up with their children's perception of new fads in modern times. Parents still think: "children are still young, parents should not wear whatever they want", so parents are really surprised when they are "shocked" about the "revolution" in costumes, clothes .. child's appearance. On the one hand, children do not want to depend on their appearance according to their parents' wishes, on the other hand, parents disagree with the child's change, even blaming and disparaging their children. This difference has led to the difficult to reconcile conflict in the conception of the child's appearance.When entering junior high school, the children had a considerable degree of maturity in learning activities, they were able to divide distinguish "necessary" knowledge and "unnecessary" knowledge, so they have consciously formed future career intentions. At this stage, they know how to spend time focusing on reading books, magazines ..., focusing on many subjects that they think are important to them. Meanwhile, the concept of choosing a career is not clear, choosing a career is mainly based on emotion, some like to follow friends and crowd psychology so it lacks practicality, sometimes it is not appropriate. with his capacity and conditions. On the side of parents, the perception: Learning is the number one priority job, so parents care and create all the conditions to achieve their goals. Parents are responsible for choosing a career for their child according to their experiences, thoughts and calculations, even though they do not match their children's abilities and interests .. If the child does not obey, do not follow the requirements of the child which will be coerced or subject to punishment. This leads to learning conflicts and career choices between parents and children. In puberty, as the body develops, psychology also changes. The children are eager to explore, like to expand friendships with peers on the basis of "equal ethics". Communication with friends is essential to the satisfaction of communication needs to help develop personality. The activities of making friends, going out, inviting friends to the house, making friends of the opposite sex have marked the development and formation of indispensable social ethics in the children. On the side of parents, the foundation of adult relationships is "ethical obedience", the notion of how to choose friends, especially relationships with friends of the opposite sex are "taboo" issues for children. Sometimes parents think that the behavior is inconsistent with a child's code of conduct. The conflict of friends is the conflict between the child's "ethical equality" and the "morality of obedience" of the parents. Parents want their children to make friends according to their parental standards, while the child refuses to give up on their standard friends. . Children are passionate about learning and exploring types of books, magazines, music, sports, fashion, movies, electronics ... This need helps them to raise awareness, excitement and self-seeking. see their talents, initially contact and experience adult life. Understanding, exploring, and liking a certain type is also a value for them to strive. However, because their self-restraint is not good, when they are too drunk, they cannot adjust their time, do not know how to spend time for study and other jobs appropriately. On the contrary, in the perception of parents, learning is still the child's top task. The fact that children spend a lot of time on other hobbies and interests goes against parents' conception. So parents find ways to put their children in "order" by reminding, monitoring, checking, sometimes even scolding and applyingpenalty. Psychologically, adolescents have the need to hide private secrets (journal writing, writing letters, exchanging feelings ...), they feel ashamed when others accidentally discover, examine break it out because you take your privacy very seriously. Besides, parents are not aware of their child's independent need in this area and ask their children not to hide anything from their parents. Parents have the right to know everything that happens to their child and to be free to interfere with their child's work. This difference in perception has made the relationship between parents and children heavy and stressful.